Category: humour
Women and cats will do as they please,
and men and dogs should relax
and get used to the idea.
J. R. “Bob” Dobbs is the figurehead of the Church of the SubGenius. His image is derived from a piece of 1950s clip art. According to SubGenius dogma, “Bob” was a drilling equipment salesman who, in 1953, saw a vision of God (JHVH-1 according to Church scriptures) on a television set he had built himself. The vision inspired him to write the “PreScriptures” (as described in the Book of the SubGenius) and found the Church. The theology holds that “Bob” is the greatest salesman who ever lived, and has cheated death a number of times. He is also revered for his great follies and believed to be a savior of “slack”. He was assassinated in San Francisco in 1984, though the Church states that he has come back from the dead several times since then.
The quotation marks in “Bob’s” name are always included when spelling his name, according to the Church. According to Revelation X; The “Bob” Apocryphon, “Bob” was born in Dallas, Texas, to Xinucha-Chi-Xan M. Dobbs (a pharmacist) and Jane McBride Dobbs. At an early age he possessed a talent for making large amounts of money by playing the stock market over the telephone. He married his wife Connie in Las Vegas in 1955 and worked as a photographer’s model while inventing and patenting novelty gag items. In 1957 he worked weekends doing Evangelical Christian preaching “strictly for the money”. (read more)
- Labels: anarchy, art, conspiracy, deviant, genius, humour, philosophy, religion, revolution, satire
âBefore our white brothers came to civilize us we had no jails. Therefore we had no criminals. You can’t have criminals without a jail. We had no locks or keys, and so we had no thieves. If a man was so poor that he had no horse, tipi or blanket, someone gave him these things. We were too uncivilized to set much value on personal belongings. We wanted to have things only in order to give them away. We had no money, and therefore a man’s worth couldn’t be measured by it. We had no written law, no attorneys or politicians, therefore we couldn’t cheat. We really were in a bad way before the white men came, and I don’t know how we managed to get along without these basic things which, we are told, are absolutely necessary to make a civilized society.â John Fire Lame Deer
- Labels: human condition, humour, indigenous, satire, truth
